January 28, 2011   1 note

DCUO Blog 2: A Day in the Life of Professor Crackshot

Before we start with THE CRAZY, I wanted to point out one of the cool things about DC Universe Online: meeting characters from the DCU that I don’t recognize. Since I don’t really follow comics, I’m having a blast looking up some of the characters I don’t really know well enough, like Booster Gold, my new personal hero.

Summary of Booster Gold’s Wikipedia summary: a guy from the future who steals a bunch of awesome technology and time travels back to present day so that he can become a corporate-sponsored superhero. AKA, my new life goal.

And now some Professor Crackshot stuff.

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Professor Crackshot stood at the entrance of the Little Bohemia precinct of the Metropolis Police Department. Today would be the day.

Today, Professor Crackshot would tour the Metropolis Metro Station.

He’d made all the arrangements: purchased the tour package from Booster Gold’s kiosk, marked it on the map he was carrying with him, and repaired his guns in case he had to shoot anything with his guns. He was prepared, and he was ready.

Using his super-speed, Professor Crackshot began to sprint through the great city. Engaging his newly-discovered super-duper-speed, he started to fly uncontrollably over the landscape, sometimes getting himself caught on streetlights. Yet, he pressed on, following the arrow on his minimap.

As Crackshot was bounding over a building, a message popped up on his PDA.

________ has invited you to a group. Join? Y/N (paraphrased)

Without even realizing it, Crackshot accepted the invitation, and found himself communicating with a group of other strange exobyte-influenced superheroes.

Well, whatever. He thought. I’ll tour the Metro Station after we defeat some evil!

Crackshot followed the new blips on his minimap to find his other group members battling some robots created by Brainiac. He found this to be odd, since he hadn’t received this mission in Metropolis—although he had done a similar task in his hometown of Gotham. So, he started SHOOTIN UP DEM BOTS.

While he was SHOOTIN UP DEM BOTS, Crackshot noticed a few of his cohorts (or whatever the positive connotation of “cohort” is) breaking off from the group. Flanking the robots! Excellent work! he thought, incorrectly. They immediately started attacking some other kind of enemies, like, bee-people or something.

And that was when Professor Crackshot realized that nobody knew what they were doing. He promptly left the group.

On his journey to the Metro Station, Crackshot noticed another group of superheroes battling Bizarro, the dumb, opposite version of Superman (who is also dumb but in a different way). Noticing that they were having a hard time, Professor Crackshot fired a few of his signature “crack shots” at the strange reverse-man. Noticing that they had no effect, Professor Crackshot employed his signature “run away” technique.

Soon after, he received a new message on his PDA, congratulating him on defeating Bizarro, and gifting him with some new gear.

I love getting credit for not really doing any work, thought Professor Crackshot.

And he was the greatest superhero ever.

  1. elroyhead posted this